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’‘Me neither doc, ‘ said the husband. ‘But she’s a great cook and really good with the kids.’An old woman goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse she has been living with for the last 40 years.The Wizard says, ‘Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.’The old woman says without hesitation, ‘I now pronounce you man and wife.’Two Reasons Why It’s So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:1. The DNA all matches.2. There are no dental records.A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, ‘Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?’The agent replies, ‘Just a minute.’‘Thank you, ‘ the blonde says, and hangs up.Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.‘How was he killed?’ asked one detective... ‘With a golf gun, ‘ the other detective replied.‘A golf gun! What is a golf gun?’‘I don’t know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.’Moe: ‘My wife got me to believe in religion.’ Joe:. I NEVER allowed her to wipe my cum off her face or tits before we went out together for a meal or whatever and sometimes I would not even allow her to have a wash, either in the shower or a bath or even at the sink so, by the end of the week or however long she hadn't washed for, both her pussy & arse would be really smelly, lovely...We also tried butt plugs for her to use and she absolutely loved having these up her arse, the biggest we ever tried was 1 foot long and 6 inches around at it's widest part and only 1 inch round at its base and the longest time I have ever left that one up her was for a whole week, and even with that monster butt plug up her arse we continued to have amazing 'ordinary' sex although it had to be doggy style so that I also banged the butt plug harder into her arse with every stroke into her pussy with my prick, and when I removed the plug at the end of the week her bowels were totally full of shit and when she was empty I shoved a water hose up there.
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